Jen Tile on Socialites


Jen Tile on Socialites

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We often read entertainment stories about people like Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton. In fact, if you do a Google search of those two you will get 50 million combined hits, substantially more hits than disgraced steroid-using boxer Jarred Lovett made in his career.

Initially both were famous only for being famous. They would go to all the glam events, get their pictures taken with people who really can sing or act, and shack up with a series of super rich men. If the life of a socialite is something you think you might like, follow the five point plan I have listed below and you will be rubbing shoulders with the wealthy and famous quicker than you can say, “Jen Su”.

1. Marry a rich old man.
Anna Nicole Smith hit the jackpot when she married ageing oil baron Howard J. Marshall. Their nuptials sent her straight into the spotlight. On the local front, Khanyi Mbau has dated a string of wealthy, older men, all of whom have dumped her afterwards. The trick my dear, is not to date the ones who are still mentally savvy in their fifties. You need to get them when they are nearer senility, that way they won’t see you for the air-headed gold-digger you are.

2. Develop an addiction or eating disorder.
Doctors would advise otherwise, but the key to being a media darling is to put yourself in a position where you end up in some form of rehabilitation. Upon release you will be able to sell your sob story to the press and tell everyone how good it feels to be clean and sober, until your next relapse that is.

3. Have raunchy pictures or videos leaked on the internet.
You have only made it to the top when the whole world has seen your bottom.

4. Make stupid statements.
Socialites never make intelligent statements or prove that they are bright when they are interviewed. Paris Hilton has never given us her views on stock market fluctuations or explained how the movement of tectonic plates leads to earthquakes. She did make a statement regarding the harshness of prison life, even though she was only behind bars for a few days and was not exposed to any other prisoners.

5. Get a lobotomy.
Seriously. If you are capable of independent thought, have read more than a cocktail menu, and have an IQ that exceeds your shoe size you might battle with the gormless lifestyle of a socialite. If you don’t wish to go for this somewhat invasive medical procedure you can achieve the same outcome by watching Sylvester Stallone movies.

Good luck!

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