Joburg Top 3

Joburg Top 3

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Jack and the Giant Aerial
The story of Jack and the Beanstalk but ‘South Africanised’ for the kids – a nice day out for the little ones.

University of Johannesburg Arts Centre, Corner Kingsway and University Road, Auckland Park. R30 to R40.
+27 11 559 3058

The Big Five at Barnyard
A tribute to Elton John, Tina Turner, Madonna, Bryan Adams & Michael Jackson in true Barnyard spirit!
Barnyard Theatre, Broadacres Shopping Centre, Fourways
+27 11 467 6983

The Comedy Underground

It’s back! After a brief hiatus for the last month of soccer madness, John Vlismas and the mad-cap crew are back.
Cool Runnings, Melville. Sundays, 20:00.
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Jen Tile: Straight out of Norwood

The scandal that never was
Oooooh, I do love a bit of scandal now and then. As you have all heard by now socialite, airhead and adult film star, Paris Hilton, was nabbed for possession of marijuana at the Brazil-Netherlands game on Friday night.

One thing that was perturbing was the fact that a police officer, who spoke on condition of anonymity, broke the law by leaking this to the press before Hilton appeared in court. Clearly this police officer has the same IQ as a brick. On the same day that the South African judicial system sent a clear message to corrupt cops by finding Jackie Selebi guilty, this moron decided to break protocol by releasing names to the press. Well done numbskull, keep it up and you’re sure to one day be bunk mates with the former Interpol chief.

Back to the scandal – Hilton’s court appearance lasted all of three minutes (about the same length as Billy-Rae Cyrus’ music career) before Hilton and her co-accused, former Playboy model Jennifer Rovero, were released. Rovero had to cough up R1000 or spend 30 days in the slammer. No guesses as to which option she chose.

As far as celebrity drug-scandals go this one was a bit of a let down. Usually they involve high-speed car chases, sex scandals, extra-marital affairs, fanatical cults and Charlie Sheen. This one had none of that. Does this mean that Paris Hilton is growing up, becoming more mature and moving towards acting like a responsible adult?

I hope not. As an entertainment commentator I can tell you that Hilton’s exploits always provide you with material. Just like politicians provide stand-up comedians with endless jokes, like McDonalds provides the Metro police with food. It’s a never-ending supply. Now that Hilton is moving away from being tabloid fodder we shall have to find someone that is not overly bright, has a habit of falling out of her clothes and is no good as an actress or singer.

So, has anyone heard any good rumours about Transformers star Megan Fox?

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