Put Malema’s face on a football

Put Malema’s face on a football

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You can see Julius Malema benefitted hugely from his little cuddle up to Mad Bob Mugabe. No sooner was he back from Zimbabwe than he was throwing BBC journalists out of news conferences, talking about their “white tendencies” and calling them bastards. He also made mention of the hugely successful land distribution programme in Zimbabwe and said how good it would be if we could do something similar on local soil. There are those who delude themselves that Malema is just an ignorant, loud mouthed youth who hasn’t any real political clout. So was Hitler…..when he was young.

You have to look at Julius Malema and despair that a country like South Africa can celebrate someone who openly celebrates his stupidity. To watch him haranguing the BBC journalist was like watching a scene from the Last King of Scotland, the movie about the brutal regime of Idi Amin. It might be funny if it weren’t so terrifying. Nobody within the ANC has either the guts or the desire to stand up to the oafish Malema and Jacob Zuma has already publicly anointed him as a future leader of the country. “Over my dead body” a friend remarked and he’s probably right.

So I’m afraid the only thing to do with someone like Malema is to make him ridiculous in the eyes of the people that support him. The white owned media’s attempts to bring him down by exposing the dodginess of his financial affairs may work for readers of Business Day but the hoi-polloi can’t even count so whether Malema has R5 or R55million in his bank account means little to them. Besides, if he’s got money to spend on expensive clothes and whisky it’s because people love him and shower him with gifts because he is a hero of the people. The people who Malema claims to represent aren’t particularly interested in his personal finances, however much we think they should be. So we have to launch a campaign that will gradually get the message across that Malema is a dangerous buffoon.

I thought the JuJu carpentry set as a Christmas present for 2010 could be a great success. A box of basic tools to enable a child to nail one piece of wood to another and come up with something utterly useless. Or Julius Malema toilet paper. Instead of those nice little doggies with waggy tails and butterflies the smiling face of the ANCYL president would beam out from the luxury two ply. It would be an instant hit in the northern suburbs but, more importantly, the numbskulls who believe that Julius is a political force to be reckoned with would find it hard to take him seriously if he as being flushed down the toilet several thousand times a day.

But the most obvious Malema merchandising opportunity is to put his face onto a football ahead of the F**A W***D C*P (sorry, not allowed to mention it unless you’ve paid millions to Mr Bladder). Then distribute the balls all around the country and encourage people to give the Julie-ball a good kick. Maybe we could even adopt the Julie-ball as a late entrant from the official ball of the afore-mentioned event. That would certainly encourage the European teams to put the boot in. That’s if they’re not too terrified to arrive after JuJu’s racist rants.

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